1990 – Many love stories

Last week when someone told me that his friend’s sister had eloped, I was surprised and the only question I asked was, “Do people still elope?” I thought the concept of elopement was passé because kids these days “fall in love” after so much clever calculation that it becomes impossible for the parents to object.
This incident took me straight back to the first year of my college in the 1990s when a classmate’s mother walked into our class to enquire about her daughter who’d been missing for the past 2 days! The interesting part of the story was that this absconding classmate had “eloped” with her car driver (oops...chauffer it should be). Just into college and added to it, we were students of English Literature - just imagine our state of mind when we heard the story! Of course by the end of the final year, though we had gotten used to the elopement stories we got excited every time – if it wasn’t the French tutor, it was the rich guy next-door who happened to be a glorified cowherd and then there was the girl who “ran away” with the neighbourhood auto rickshaw driver!!
Those of us who grew up in the late 80s and 1990s were mostly a bunch of dreamers. We dreamt of love stories, lovers and sometimes careers. Yes, very much in that order.
The late 80s and the 1990s was the golden-era of love stories. Cinema reflects society and vice versa and so this was the period when some of the most memorable love stories got made (memorable for us kids, unforgettable for our poor parents). Wow! What movies they were!

• Geethanjali (the cult Telugu movie which inspired our Indian film makers in so many ways)
• Maine Pyar Kiya (come on, don’t laugh. Have you forgotten? Some people were smitten by the doves and even Alok Nath)
• Qayamat se Qayamat Tak (I still sigh at the very mention of it)
• Dil
• Idhayam (the heavy, heavy Tamil movie that melted many hearts)
• Eeramana Rojave
• Punnagai Mannan
• Aashiqui
• Dil Hai ke Maanta Nahin (with a clever modern-day twist and the famous line “Pooja beti Bhaag”. Thank God the hero of that movie hadn’t yet turned a producer – else he would have written a song for the situation “Bhaag bhaag pooja bhaag”, with a few swear words thrown in )
• ....the list goes on (definitely not in a chronological order).
All these movies had the quintessential dialogue of the era “Is duniya ki koi taakat hamein rok nahin sakti” translated into all Indian languages!!! My generation grew up watching such movies and listening to songs like “Main duniya bhula doonga teri chaahat mein”, “hum pyar karne waalen, duniya se na darne waale”, “roke kab ruki hai, manzil pyaar ki”. Ha! Such inspiring words and I guess that did it. So inspired we all were that we forgot to plan ourselves a career... we just loitered around, found jobs and life-partners – some traitors didn’t even fulfil the secret pact that the youth of the 1990s had made to themselves – they quietly sneaked into arranged marriages!
The trend of the movies and the society slowly changed and brought in the idea of “sacrificing love for the sake of family respect”...with convenient happy endings. Prem and Pooja bottled up their feelings for each other (Maine Pyar Kiya) and if not for hoarse voice of Amrish Puri that said “Ja Simran”, our giggly Raj would've never got his Simran. Sacrifice became a recurring theme in half a dozen ‘SuperBad Tamil movies’ produced by SuperGood movies with melodic ‘strains’ by SA Rajkumar.
Cut to today - just like youngsters today, the characters in today’s films are straightforward, less dreamy eyed, more practical and ready to drop old lovers and pick new ones without as much as a tear drop. Parental consent is not quite an issue (if at all parents form part of the story). What is interesting is that most of the leads (both the girls and boys) have their own careers. In the 1990s, even the college-educated guys had to chop wood for a living in case they eloped!! The definition of falling in love and relationship seems to be changing. Though it broke my heart, Gautam Menon conveyed to his audience that it is only in a movie that Jessie can marry Karthik against all odds but the real Jessie (out of the movie) moves on and marries someone else. Of course there are good movies being made today too but they only have a certain love angle to a larger subject. Even in movies that claim to be in Romance genre (I hate luvv stories, Anjana Anjani, Break ke Baad, Paiyya, Engeyum Kaadhal) I somehow feel the fiery passion, an essential part of a love-story, missing. VTV, Mynaa and Madrasapattinam were perhaps some exceptions in recent times. I’m unable to think of any such strong examples in Hindi though. Please tell me if you can think of any.
Like I said earlier, cinema is definitely a mirror to the times we live in. People are keener on establishing a comfortable position for themselves in this competitive world. Relationships, if at all they happen, are just sub-stories.

Book Review: Timepass - Memoirs of Protima Bedi

Though I've been eyeing it for a long time, I picked up this book from my lending library on a day when I was particularly in a "I am-just-going-to-follow-my-heart" state of mind.
The book is a collection of letters and excerpts from Protima Bedi’s journals. She wished to publish her Autobiography someday but little did she know that it would be published posthumously.
The presentation of the book is as raw and as simple as Protima Bedi’s outlook towards life. The book does not carry any air of the classy-literary style that one would expect from a noted classical dancer's memoirs nor do you find the sensationalism of a bold model's life story. The journal entries are all straightforward and the letters are simple and straight from the heart. Beyond being known as the Nudist of Juhu and the creator of Nrityagram, we see a very simple, even innocent person at the core. Her exploits, love affairs, struggles are all discussed very honestly and in a matter of fact style. The few black and white photographs that are added could have been of a better quality. They also don't contribute much to the story of Protima Bedi. Pooja Bedi and the editor perhaps didn't have accesss to many good pictures.
Initially, I felt the title of the book “Timepass” was rather frivolous. Only later does one realise that it sums up her simple philosophy of life. She says only birth and death are the two truths of life and everything else in between is just “timepass". There are such small, sometimes unintended, nuggets of wisdom in many chapters. The book offers some surprising and shocking moments - for instance, when she casually mentions names of celebrities and well-known people as her lovers/friends and when she talks about the ordeals she faced during her Odissi training days and the initial days of Nrityagram.
The last couple of chapters are very moving and philosophical in nature. The readers are taken to another level in terms of their understanding of Protima Gauri Bedi (How she dropped the name Bedi and added Gauri is quite funny). Her thoughts and actions during the last few chapters almost seem prophetic. One perhaps just needs to be in touch with his/her inner self to walk the path to sheer Bliss.
Inspiring in parts, thought provoking and touching in parts, this book is a good read for those who appreciate the essence of of free-spiritedness and is sure to be more than just a “timepass”!

AGGRESSION, VIOLENCE AND CHILDREN

The day I realized that my 3.5 year old daughter started imitating my angry expressions and body language, I started becoming very conscious of my anger and my reaction to unpleasant situations. I realized raising one’s voice could sound so ugly and violent only after I saw her do it. I have now started controlling my temper and language, even when she is not around.

My daughter loves enacting scenes either from her favourite fairy tale or imitate her teachers at school. We also enjoy watching her do this but what she did the other day shocked me. She suddenly started yelling on top of her voice “Get out of the class” in English and in Tamil. I asked her what she was talking about but she repeatedly kept saying “Get out the class. Why did you spill the water?” On asking her if her teacher yelled this way, she said “No, not our teacher but I saw this through the window of another classroom while playing outside”. Well, I was relieved that this did not happen in her class and at the same time wasn’t sure if it is okay. Though my first thought was go and tell the school about this, I also thought, as parents, when we lose temper with our own kids, what more could be expected from a regular school with regular teachers who have to deal with brats of all sizes every day of the week.

I have always tried to keep my daughter away from violence. I consciously avoid showing her violent stuff on TV. Great! What else? I tell her traditional, mythological stories. I told her the story of Lord Ganesha and how Lord Shiva chops off Lord Ganesha’s head. Boy! How much more violent can it get? She loves to watch shows like Little Krishna, Krishna-Balaram and Chota Bheem on TV, though most of the time innocent and cute, these shows are mostly about bashing up the bad guys. Then, we sing Rhymes - the Mother Goose rhymes. An innocent sleeping baby falls off the cradle (Rock-a-bye-baby) and a poor old man gets thrown down the stairs just because he couldn’t say his prayers (Goosy Goosy Gander). As a student of Literature I know that most of these rhymes were written in the social context of England during various periods. I don’t teach my daughter rhymes that are irrelevant but can I stop her school? (Thank God for the new syllabi at schools which have new rhymes, apart from some old ones).

I even avoid telling her, at bedtime, her 2 favourite stories – namely Robot (the movie) and Rapunzel. Both of these have shades of violence, how much ever I edit it.

I take my daughter’s favourite characters and make up my own bed-time stories. My daughter loves them and in the bargain, I sleep well too but there’s so much violence everywhere in so many forms. And for how long will I be able to shield my little one from aggression and violence. Of course, I do explain in her own language that is not nice to hit or yell at someone. The TV luckily has a remote control but what about life? Should I let her explore the world on her own and figure it out herself because today hatred, violence and blood-shed are all part of daily life? If I look, I am sure there must be some way of raising my daughter who will be aware that violence does exist but will be strong enough to choose love!

Ko - a quick and clever mov(i)e!

Just last week my husband and I were discussing the core causes for corruption. I understood that one of the main reasons for say a Chief Minister to be corrupt is the Party - they need funds to run the party. Though it did answer my question, it also opened up many questions in my mind at the same time.

These questions popped up in my head again as walked out of the movie theater. The director KV Anand through his latest flick "Ko" tries to explore the various facets of political life - ambition, fears, honesty, dishonesty and its justification.

The story revolves around a straightforward but a very clever and intelligent photojournalist, Ashwin played by Jiva. True to his profession, he will do anything to get the truth out. He has good support in the form of his parents, his boss- the Editor of the Daily for which he works and his constantly cheering and enthusiastic colleagues who share the same passion.

The story of Ashwin is weaved through the election season in the State. There is this powerful ruling party and its leader, the Chief Minister (Prakash Raj) on one side who is confident of coming back to power, one opposition party on another side, whose leader (Kota Srinivasa Rao) who has absolutely no ethics or scruples what so ever. The other contender is a new Party consisting of young, educated men and women whose aim is to only serve the society and at the helm is 28-year old Vasanthan (Ajmal). The role of the Press in making or breaking political careers, how the eager reporters cover the election campaigns of each party, how they try to expose the wrong doings of the parties and how the young new Party is so full of hope and motivation is what the first half of the movie is about. Who wins and who loses is what the rest of the movie is about. If the first half makes you smile, cheer and feel totally inspired, the second half brings you to the edge of the seat. The sudden twists and turns surprise and shock you.

The cast: Jiva as the photo journalist is very good. He's always been a very good actor who chooses most of his roles well. He looks great and comes out very well as this smart guy who can talk himself out of any tough situation.

Karthika: She plays a reporter in the same newspaper as the hero and is his girlfriend. I didn't like her when I first saw the photographs and promos of this and the other Telugu movie. But on watching the entire movie, I think she's quite good. Acting skills and confidence - not bad at all. Excellent screen presence thanks to her height, huge, expressive eyes and lovely well styled hair. A very modern version of her demure Mom, who was as attractive but in her demure style in her heydays.

Piya: Very cute. Thanks to the director for etching her role well. Her crush on the hero and how she handles it is very warm and sweet. I also like the portrayal of the relationship between her and Ashwin - very natural. She plays the part of a fun and happy-go-lucky reporter in the same office as Karthika and Jeeva.

Ajmal: A very important role, he plays Vasanthan, the leader of the new political party, Siragugal. This boy is really, really good. He's done a great job. Very pleasant face, warm eyes that look straight into you. Even way back in Thiru Thiru, Thuru Thuru, we found him cute, funny and endearing. Some new faces really catch your attention I must say!

Others: Kota Srinivas Rao was born to play an evil politician as it were! Prakash Raj doesn't get to do much and what ever he does, he does very well. All the supporting actors like the guys at the newspaper office, Jagan (remember the funny guy from vijay tv and also Ayan), the guy who plays Kadhir - all of them are good.

Music: The songs are nice, mostly pleasant. Harris Jeyaraj still needs to work on his background score - it got a tad boring at times. Ennamo etho is the best song I think. Amali Thumali is catchy - nice to hear Hariharan's voice after a long time.

Presentation: Excellent camera work - I know this might have become a cliche by now but the song locations and the way they've been captured are truly mesmerising - particularly the first duet. Very intelligent and crisp style of story telling. The director definitely does not take the audience for a ride with illogical plots and twists. Almost everything is neatly bound from the beginning to the end.

The only thing I felt amiss is the scene following the bomb blast and the subsequent house-break in the heroine's apartment. Quite naturally the girl is totally scared and freaked to stay alone after a terrible day. But her boyfriend, the 'hero' is ready to leave her alone and casually asks her to call if she needs anything. For which she mutters something about not leaving her alone. He should have offered to stay with her in her apartment to comfort her and himself too without her asking for it. Whatever happened to our chivalrous heroes? Or is it some moralistic stance? (Can't help thinking how Gautham Menon would have handled this!) Come on! They have just been through a huge tragedy. Even when he consoles her, there is no hint of sadness on the girl's face. Instead, they break into a song on some dreamy location (or setting?). Okay even if commercial compulsions forced its way into an extra song, it could have been something more mature and sublime. Even Bombay Jayashree's voice didn't elevate the situation much. Remember the last song in Vettaiaadu Vilayaadu -Uyiriley enathu uraviley picturised as almost a poetic conversation between 2 mature adults? That's what I mean. Get the point? (sorry about the 2nd reference to Gautam Menon within one paragraph). Even for that matter the Sundari song in Thalapathy. We are Indians and don't have to shy away from songs in our movies but how best they are used to convey the situation is what it is all about. Coming back to Ko, I like the song "Gala Gang", though it makes you a little impatient at that point, it helps the writer take the story forward in just about 4 minutes.

That apart. I must say the movie is very modern, intelligent and makes you think. Like I said in the beginning, it raises a lot of questions within your head. Is K V Anand trying to take a thought out of Geethopadesam in which Lord Krishna says everything is fair as long you have the broader goal of human welfare in mind? Well, check it out for yourselves and tell me what you think. And go in time to catch the titles. Very interest.

PS: Maybe someone can help me figure out the title. Any allusion to game "Kho-Kho"-fight for the Chair etc??

Nature and children

I just now read a post on FB by my sister, where she talks about a beautiful and a natural place and says "I realise this is the calmness, pureness, quietness that our urban children are missing and that is creating a lot of problems for them, for no fault of theirs. Our children deserve to enjoy nature like we did growing up. Can we ever give it to them? I think we can if we realise its value for ourselves."

She is so right. Come weekends and I am always in this dilemma..where do I take Raksha to...someplace where there's lots of greenery, water...someplace where she can run around with gay abandon. In Chennai, luckily we have the beaches and the numerous parks that have been so thoughtfully built by the Corporation in almost every area in the City. The only thing is that, Chennai has been going through crazy, uncharacteristic weather changes and it is scary to expose my little one to it - sad but beaches are ruled out for now. Raksha and I just love the beach.

And the parks.. there are many and one very close to where I live but I somehow feel there should be more greenery for the kids to explore than just the play equipment. I know swinging and sliding are fun and also good for the children but then the endless queues, kids who can't get enough and parents who don't seem to mind the dozen other kids waiting in line ...I don't like that. Raksha loves the fountain and sometimes I let her indulge by letting her get hair hands and hair wet in the spray of the fountain - I get wet too knowing fully well that the water is terribly unclean. That's okay once in a while..there's always Dettol soap at home! :) I also don't like people selling popcorn and synthetic bubbles and other potential "tantrum-magnets" in the parks - but poor guys..they need to make a living too! While we are on the topic of parks, Semmozhli Poonga is a great place to take children. Please go during the day to enjoy the best of its beauty - of course it has the 'dreaded' play area, which we spotted from a distance and acted as if it didn't exist at all but our very observant little one saw it anyway. When she asked me to take her there, I simply told her that it is not part of the park but belongs to the house located next to the park - they will not let us play there and she bought my story :P . "Evil mommy", you must be thinking, but then that way she got to enjoy the pond, the ducks and different types of leaves and trees!!

Getting back to the point, in my opinion, if children are not exposed to the little nature that is available to them, the fault to a great extent lies with us adults. Sundays are the only days we get (we work on Saturdays too you see), when we like to watch a li'l bit of TV and catch up with our once-in-a-week siesta and then we run around doing our chores, shopping and after that who has the time to for nature trips? Luckily being a work-from-home-mom blessed with a good baby sitter, these days, I have consciously started to do all my shopping on weekdays (except the stuff that we as a couple need to do together) and reserve Sunday for hubby and baby - both of them don't enjoy shopping anyway - neither do I but someone has to do the dirty work. Still, however well I plan, it is always well after evening that we step out and there is not enough sunlight for baby to go exploring :(

My plans for summer holidays include a lot of beach visits and one zoo visit. Good for her and me, at least till date, she loves watching Animal planet, Discovery Channel and National Geographic but I want her to experience the real thing!

The KB-Rajini Interview on Sun TV

Was watching this prog on Sun TV last night - an event organized by the Film Director's Association of South India (I guess). Part of the show was a cute little interview (supposed to be in a lighter vein) - ace director K Balachander interviewing Superstar Rajnikanth. The concept was very sweet and so was the interview. Very open questions and very honest answers - that was the best part of the interview. Rajni didn't hesitate for a second when he said, his priority was only commercial movies - gosh, this man is so sure of himself!! There were many questions that made Rajni emotional - like for example when KB asked Rajni why he has stopped the ritual of calling upon KB anymore on Holi day (the day when Sivaji Rao Gaekwad was renamed Rajni by KB). The relationship between the two came out so well...the humble self displayed by Rajni towards his mentor was so moving. I also loved the maturity displayed by KB when he says he cannot make movies that befit Rajni's superstar status anymore.

Just one thing, KB sir kept taking pride in the fact that he was the one to launch Rajni, not once but many times during the interview. For a minute I felt, its all destiny - if Sivaji Rao was destined to become a super-famous personality, nothing would have stopped him and KB sir was perhaps just a catalyst in entire Big Plan. (In fact, it was only much later that the 'superstar' image came to be fitted on Rajni, though people loved him right from the first movie!) If not through KB, it would have happened through some other source. But you know what, considering all of KB's path breaking movies, all his knowledge and more than anything, his ripe age of 82 (I see so many ex-film personalities become cynical once they lose out on the market but KB so is spirited even now) - may be one can actually let him take the credit for turning around the life of a regular person into a phenomenon!

"Get a life" they said.

Rashi stepped out of the house after a quick and healthy breakfast. They say when you look good, you feel good or vice versa. It worked both ways today. Her day starting with a satisfying work out. She consciously ate a decent breakfast and even dressed up carefully and was wondering why she was smiling to herself all the time. Thinking about the new guy who was supposed to join her team today? Not really. He was much junior to her - everyone in her team and mostly every one at the office was younger than her, except maybe the Chairman :)

The others her age were all the serious, "responsible" types...like the Accountant who was seen and heard only while getting into office and getting out of it. He even had lunch alone. Huge lunch box consisting of the routine dal-chawal-sabzi-roti fare, dutifully packed by the wife whom he sincerely brought with him every year on 'family day', two kids in tow - all of them very properly dressed and well behaved. Then there was the Col. Rao in the Admin who was just around 38-40 but bragged about his short army career as if he was Subhash Chadra Bose's right hand man during the INA days!

Rashi never felt or behaved 34. She even enjoyed those impromptu 'chair-races' that her boisterous team would have! She would tell all her friends that her mental age is still 18, dreamy eyed, incorrigibly romantic. Ironical that she wasn't very lucky with relationships. No major heartbreaks or sad stories but nothing to write home about either. Of late her past has just been leaving a tiny smile on her face, minus the pain. She only smiled when she thought of the spineless Sudhir, poor guy, was shit scared of his mom. And Nitin, with a bloated ego - he was too proud to accept and even acknowledge that he really liked her! On a lighter day she felt they all lost her and weren't lucky enough to have her in their lives.

Though she had her lonely moments, she now seemed to adjust well to this situation. She felt she perhaps would never fit into the cycle of marriage, in-laws and children anymore. She seemed to be blissfully settling into her single status. She loved her monthly treks. She loved her book-clubs and the book-reading sessions. She had a fuller and more meaningful life than her match-making aunts who told her "Its high time you settled down. Rashi, get a life". "Well", she thought, "Thanks aunties, I found my life and have settled down!".