AGGRESSION, VIOLENCE AND CHILDREN

The day I realized that my 3.5 year old daughter started imitating my angry expressions and body language, I started becoming very conscious of my anger and my reaction to unpleasant situations. I realized raising one’s voice could sound so ugly and violent only after I saw her do it. I have now started controlling my temper and language, even when she is not around.

My daughter loves enacting scenes either from her favourite fairy tale or imitate her teachers at school. We also enjoy watching her do this but what she did the other day shocked me. She suddenly started yelling on top of her voice “Get out of the class” in English and in Tamil. I asked her what she was talking about but she repeatedly kept saying “Get out the class. Why did you spill the water?” On asking her if her teacher yelled this way, she said “No, not our teacher but I saw this through the window of another classroom while playing outside”. Well, I was relieved that this did not happen in her class and at the same time wasn’t sure if it is okay. Though my first thought was go and tell the school about this, I also thought, as parents, when we lose temper with our own kids, what more could be expected from a regular school with regular teachers who have to deal with brats of all sizes every day of the week.

I have always tried to keep my daughter away from violence. I consciously avoid showing her violent stuff on TV. Great! What else? I tell her traditional, mythological stories. I told her the story of Lord Ganesha and how Lord Shiva chops off Lord Ganesha’s head. Boy! How much more violent can it get? She loves to watch shows like Little Krishna, Krishna-Balaram and Chota Bheem on TV, though most of the time innocent and cute, these shows are mostly about bashing up the bad guys. Then, we sing Rhymes - the Mother Goose rhymes. An innocent sleeping baby falls off the cradle (Rock-a-bye-baby) and a poor old man gets thrown down the stairs just because he couldn’t say his prayers (Goosy Goosy Gander). As a student of Literature I know that most of these rhymes were written in the social context of England during various periods. I don’t teach my daughter rhymes that are irrelevant but can I stop her school? (Thank God for the new syllabi at schools which have new rhymes, apart from some old ones).

I even avoid telling her, at bedtime, her 2 favourite stories – namely Robot (the movie) and Rapunzel. Both of these have shades of violence, how much ever I edit it.

I take my daughter’s favourite characters and make up my own bed-time stories. My daughter loves them and in the bargain, I sleep well too but there’s so much violence everywhere in so many forms. And for how long will I be able to shield my little one from aggression and violence. Of course, I do explain in her own language that is not nice to hit or yell at someone. The TV luckily has a remote control but what about life? Should I let her explore the world on her own and figure it out herself because today hatred, violence and blood-shed are all part of daily life? If I look, I am sure there must be some way of raising my daughter who will be aware that violence does exist but will be strong enough to choose love!

Ko - a quick and clever mov(i)e!

Just last week my husband and I were discussing the core causes for corruption. I understood that one of the main reasons for say a Chief Minister to be corrupt is the Party - they need funds to run the party. Though it did answer my question, it also opened up many questions in my mind at the same time.

These questions popped up in my head again as walked out of the movie theater. The director KV Anand through his latest flick "Ko" tries to explore the various facets of political life - ambition, fears, honesty, dishonesty and its justification.

The story revolves around a straightforward but a very clever and intelligent photojournalist, Ashwin played by Jiva. True to his profession, he will do anything to get the truth out. He has good support in the form of his parents, his boss- the Editor of the Daily for which he works and his constantly cheering and enthusiastic colleagues who share the same passion.

The story of Ashwin is weaved through the election season in the State. There is this powerful ruling party and its leader, the Chief Minister (Prakash Raj) on one side who is confident of coming back to power, one opposition party on another side, whose leader (Kota Srinivasa Rao) who has absolutely no ethics or scruples what so ever. The other contender is a new Party consisting of young, educated men and women whose aim is to only serve the society and at the helm is 28-year old Vasanthan (Ajmal). The role of the Press in making or breaking political careers, how the eager reporters cover the election campaigns of each party, how they try to expose the wrong doings of the parties and how the young new Party is so full of hope and motivation is what the first half of the movie is about. Who wins and who loses is what the rest of the movie is about. If the first half makes you smile, cheer and feel totally inspired, the second half brings you to the edge of the seat. The sudden twists and turns surprise and shock you.

The cast: Jiva as the photo journalist is very good. He's always been a very good actor who chooses most of his roles well. He looks great and comes out very well as this smart guy who can talk himself out of any tough situation.

Karthika: She plays a reporter in the same newspaper as the hero and is his girlfriend. I didn't like her when I first saw the photographs and promos of this and the other Telugu movie. But on watching the entire movie, I think she's quite good. Acting skills and confidence - not bad at all. Excellent screen presence thanks to her height, huge, expressive eyes and lovely well styled hair. A very modern version of her demure Mom, who was as attractive but in her demure style in her heydays.

Piya: Very cute. Thanks to the director for etching her role well. Her crush on the hero and how she handles it is very warm and sweet. I also like the portrayal of the relationship between her and Ashwin - very natural. She plays the part of a fun and happy-go-lucky reporter in the same office as Karthika and Jeeva.

Ajmal: A very important role, he plays Vasanthan, the leader of the new political party, Siragugal. This boy is really, really good. He's done a great job. Very pleasant face, warm eyes that look straight into you. Even way back in Thiru Thiru, Thuru Thuru, we found him cute, funny and endearing. Some new faces really catch your attention I must say!

Others: Kota Srinivas Rao was born to play an evil politician as it were! Prakash Raj doesn't get to do much and what ever he does, he does very well. All the supporting actors like the guys at the newspaper office, Jagan (remember the funny guy from vijay tv and also Ayan), the guy who plays Kadhir - all of them are good.

Music: The songs are nice, mostly pleasant. Harris Jeyaraj still needs to work on his background score - it got a tad boring at times. Ennamo etho is the best song I think. Amali Thumali is catchy - nice to hear Hariharan's voice after a long time.

Presentation: Excellent camera work - I know this might have become a cliche by now but the song locations and the way they've been captured are truly mesmerising - particularly the first duet. Very intelligent and crisp style of story telling. The director definitely does not take the audience for a ride with illogical plots and twists. Almost everything is neatly bound from the beginning to the end.

The only thing I felt amiss is the scene following the bomb blast and the subsequent house-break in the heroine's apartment. Quite naturally the girl is totally scared and freaked to stay alone after a terrible day. But her boyfriend, the 'hero' is ready to leave her alone and casually asks her to call if she needs anything. For which she mutters something about not leaving her alone. He should have offered to stay with her in her apartment to comfort her and himself too without her asking for it. Whatever happened to our chivalrous heroes? Or is it some moralistic stance? (Can't help thinking how Gautham Menon would have handled this!) Come on! They have just been through a huge tragedy. Even when he consoles her, there is no hint of sadness on the girl's face. Instead, they break into a song on some dreamy location (or setting?). Okay even if commercial compulsions forced its way into an extra song, it could have been something more mature and sublime. Even Bombay Jayashree's voice didn't elevate the situation much. Remember the last song in Vettaiaadu Vilayaadu -Uyiriley enathu uraviley picturised as almost a poetic conversation between 2 mature adults? That's what I mean. Get the point? (sorry about the 2nd reference to Gautam Menon within one paragraph). Even for that matter the Sundari song in Thalapathy. We are Indians and don't have to shy away from songs in our movies but how best they are used to convey the situation is what it is all about. Coming back to Ko, I like the song "Gala Gang", though it makes you a little impatient at that point, it helps the writer take the story forward in just about 4 minutes.

That apart. I must say the movie is very modern, intelligent and makes you think. Like I said in the beginning, it raises a lot of questions within your head. Is K V Anand trying to take a thought out of Geethopadesam in which Lord Krishna says everything is fair as long you have the broader goal of human welfare in mind? Well, check it out for yourselves and tell me what you think. And go in time to catch the titles. Very interest.

PS: Maybe someone can help me figure out the title. Any allusion to game "Kho-Kho"-fight for the Chair etc??

Nature and children

I just now read a post on FB by my sister, where she talks about a beautiful and a natural place and says "I realise this is the calmness, pureness, quietness that our urban children are missing and that is creating a lot of problems for them, for no fault of theirs. Our children deserve to enjoy nature like we did growing up. Can we ever give it to them? I think we can if we realise its value for ourselves."

She is so right. Come weekends and I am always in this dilemma..where do I take Raksha to...someplace where there's lots of greenery, water...someplace where she can run around with gay abandon. In Chennai, luckily we have the beaches and the numerous parks that have been so thoughtfully built by the Corporation in almost every area in the City. The only thing is that, Chennai has been going through crazy, uncharacteristic weather changes and it is scary to expose my little one to it - sad but beaches are ruled out for now. Raksha and I just love the beach.

And the parks.. there are many and one very close to where I live but I somehow feel there should be more greenery for the kids to explore than just the play equipment. I know swinging and sliding are fun and also good for the children but then the endless queues, kids who can't get enough and parents who don't seem to mind the dozen other kids waiting in line ...I don't like that. Raksha loves the fountain and sometimes I let her indulge by letting her get hair hands and hair wet in the spray of the fountain - I get wet too knowing fully well that the water is terribly unclean. That's okay once in a while..there's always Dettol soap at home! :) I also don't like people selling popcorn and synthetic bubbles and other potential "tantrum-magnets" in the parks - but poor guys..they need to make a living too! While we are on the topic of parks, Semmozhli Poonga is a great place to take children. Please go during the day to enjoy the best of its beauty - of course it has the 'dreaded' play area, which we spotted from a distance and acted as if it didn't exist at all but our very observant little one saw it anyway. When she asked me to take her there, I simply told her that it is not part of the park but belongs to the house located next to the park - they will not let us play there and she bought my story :P . "Evil mommy", you must be thinking, but then that way she got to enjoy the pond, the ducks and different types of leaves and trees!!

Getting back to the point, in my opinion, if children are not exposed to the little nature that is available to them, the fault to a great extent lies with us adults. Sundays are the only days we get (we work on Saturdays too you see), when we like to watch a li'l bit of TV and catch up with our once-in-a-week siesta and then we run around doing our chores, shopping and after that who has the time to for nature trips? Luckily being a work-from-home-mom blessed with a good baby sitter, these days, I have consciously started to do all my shopping on weekdays (except the stuff that we as a couple need to do together) and reserve Sunday for hubby and baby - both of them don't enjoy shopping anyway - neither do I but someone has to do the dirty work. Still, however well I plan, it is always well after evening that we step out and there is not enough sunlight for baby to go exploring :(

My plans for summer holidays include a lot of beach visits and one zoo visit. Good for her and me, at least till date, she loves watching Animal planet, Discovery Channel and National Geographic but I want her to experience the real thing!

The KB-Rajini Interview on Sun TV

Was watching this prog on Sun TV last night - an event organized by the Film Director's Association of South India (I guess). Part of the show was a cute little interview (supposed to be in a lighter vein) - ace director K Balachander interviewing Superstar Rajnikanth. The concept was very sweet and so was the interview. Very open questions and very honest answers - that was the best part of the interview. Rajni didn't hesitate for a second when he said, his priority was only commercial movies - gosh, this man is so sure of himself!! There were many questions that made Rajni emotional - like for example when KB asked Rajni why he has stopped the ritual of calling upon KB anymore on Holi day (the day when Sivaji Rao Gaekwad was renamed Rajni by KB). The relationship between the two came out so well...the humble self displayed by Rajni towards his mentor was so moving. I also loved the maturity displayed by KB when he says he cannot make movies that befit Rajni's superstar status anymore.

Just one thing, KB sir kept taking pride in the fact that he was the one to launch Rajni, not once but many times during the interview. For a minute I felt, its all destiny - if Sivaji Rao was destined to become a super-famous personality, nothing would have stopped him and KB sir was perhaps just a catalyst in entire Big Plan. (In fact, it was only much later that the 'superstar' image came to be fitted on Rajni, though people loved him right from the first movie!) If not through KB, it would have happened through some other source. But you know what, considering all of KB's path breaking movies, all his knowledge and more than anything, his ripe age of 82 (I see so many ex-film personalities become cynical once they lose out on the market but KB so is spirited even now) - may be one can actually let him take the credit for turning around the life of a regular person into a phenomenon!

"Get a life" they said.

Rashi stepped out of the house after a quick and healthy breakfast. They say when you look good, you feel good or vice versa. It worked both ways today. Her day starting with a satisfying work out. She consciously ate a decent breakfast and even dressed up carefully and was wondering why she was smiling to herself all the time. Thinking about the new guy who was supposed to join her team today? Not really. He was much junior to her - everyone in her team and mostly every one at the office was younger than her, except maybe the Chairman :)

The others her age were all the serious, "responsible" types...like the Accountant who was seen and heard only while getting into office and getting out of it. He even had lunch alone. Huge lunch box consisting of the routine dal-chawal-sabzi-roti fare, dutifully packed by the wife whom he sincerely brought with him every year on 'family day', two kids in tow - all of them very properly dressed and well behaved. Then there was the Col. Rao in the Admin who was just around 38-40 but bragged about his short army career as if he was Subhash Chadra Bose's right hand man during the INA days!

Rashi never felt or behaved 34. She even enjoyed those impromptu 'chair-races' that her boisterous team would have! She would tell all her friends that her mental age is still 18, dreamy eyed, incorrigibly romantic. Ironical that she wasn't very lucky with relationships. No major heartbreaks or sad stories but nothing to write home about either. Of late her past has just been leaving a tiny smile on her face, minus the pain. She only smiled when she thought of the spineless Sudhir, poor guy, was shit scared of his mom. And Nitin, with a bloated ego - he was too proud to accept and even acknowledge that he really liked her! On a lighter day she felt they all lost her and weren't lucky enough to have her in their lives.

Though she had her lonely moments, she now seemed to adjust well to this situation. She felt she perhaps would never fit into the cycle of marriage, in-laws and children anymore. She seemed to be blissfully settling into her single status. She loved her monthly treks. She loved her book-clubs and the book-reading sessions. She had a fuller and more meaningful life than her match-making aunts who told her "Its high time you settled down. Rashi, get a life". "Well", she thought, "Thanks aunties, I found my life and have settled down!".

One road trip, many lessons

It was a long pending trip to Udipi. We finally decided to go ahead though we did not get the train tickets. We decided to drive down, though somewhere deep down, I was not too keen about driving from one coast to the other - Chennai in the East to Mangalore in the West. Anyway, counting on the driving skills of my husband and our driver, we set out - leave granted, bags packed and everything.

We reached Bangalore first and spent the night there for a break as we had another 6 hr journey ahead of us. We then left Bangalore the next morning at around 11 am (so that we can avoid the rush hour, little knowing that we were anyway going to spend a very long time on the road). The road up to a town called Hassan was okay though not very good. Then came, Sankleshpur – a name I will not forget in a long time to come. The ordeal started there. It wasn’t a regular road but a National Highway – NH48! I would call it a National Rubbleway! There was absolutely not a stretch that was smooth. The roads were broken and what made things worse was that the roads went uphill, popularly known as the ‘Ghat section’. We did some homework before we left Chennai - we were told that the Highway is good except for some 30 kms. Maybe the 30 km they referred to was the good part. It became very dark and roads got worse. I had already decided we will not take this road on our way back. As we drove up, the hill it was getting darker, the jungle denser. I normally don’t have any major fears to talk about but that day, I found myself hallucinating. I saw a man’s face peering through the gigantic leaves of a tree. Me a lover of nature, found the hills and trees very gloomy that evening. I don’t ‘t know why but I heard myself telling our maid that we will be delayed by a day and she can have another day’s off and also heard myself informing my boss that I will need another day’s off – it still remains a mystery why and how I heard those voices. We anyway reached Mangalore at 9 pm, a good 3 hours behind schedule and with stiff necks.

We left to Udipi the next day and managed to get a good darshan in spite of the mad holiday rush – can’t blame them. They were also trying to make the best of the holiday season just like we were. Lesson #1 Never visit temples during vacations, particularly long weekends. Many more lessons follow.Day 2: Arun (my husband) talked to a few people, bought some good maps and found a better route to get to Bangalore from Mangalore – via Madikkeri (Coorg). He suggested we take a break there and then proceed to Chennai via Bangalore. My parents who were with us had confirmed bus bookings from Mangalore to Hyderabad (a solid 20 hr journey) the next day. Poor things, we convinced them to cancel it and join us for a good time at Madikkeri and even got them train tickets from Bangalore to Hyderabad – we were so pleased that we had made it easy for them. So we went to Subramanya Temple, around 100 km from Mangalore but couldn’t get the Darshan at the main temple, again due to the holiday rush. We left to Madikkeri around 3 pm and realized that the road has been blocked. We took the alternative route and regret it till date ☺All the while I was uncomfortable, I repeatedly kept asking everyone – do we actually have to climb uphill and go to Madikeri? Can’t we go to Mysore directly? I don’t feel like going uphill. But they said this is the only available route to Mysore too. Lesson #2 Respect your instincts, follow your gut feeling. Anyway the suggested road was nothing but a narrow mud path where only 1 vehicle can pass freely at any time, again a winding road up the hills, with a jungle on one side and a valley on the other. It was very difficult to climb up the hill. I then felt a strange smell and we all thought forest areas do have such unusual “herbal” smells!! A few minutes later, the climb was getting more difficult. We thought it must be because of the weight – 1 baby, 5 adults, 5 suitcases and an assortment of other stuff. The realization came when a passing car mentioned that smoke was coming out of our car! We opened the doors and windows of our car to see smoke—a whole lot of it at that. The tension that gripped all of us at that time would not leave us for next 18 hours at least. We tried balancing the weight in the car. My husband and I moved to the front passenger seat and dad moved behind. We thought it worked for a while. We hadn’t even covered 2 kms—we would stop for a while every time the smoke came out. We did this twice. Finally our Corolla Altis just gave up. Poor thing, if it had feelings, wonder what it would have gone through at that time and the rest of the night. Tension was building up. I could hear my mum and baby chanting Lord Ayappa’s names and prayers “Swamiye Saranam Ayappa” ‘’Ethividayya, thookividayya’’. This is normally chanted by devotees while climbing the tough hills to reach Lord Ayappa’s temple in Sabarimalai (my parents have made 2 visits so far and now have decided to go next year too). A man driving alone in a black Chevrolet slowed down and asked if we needed a lift. We declined, thinking we can manage. When we actually thought we should perhaps ask someone for a lift, we didn’t get one. Just then a bus that was passing by stopped and around 20 full grown men swiftly got off the bus and started walking towards our car. I got scared and quickly got into our car. They exchanged a few words with my dad, husband and driver. One of them got into our car and tried to start it and said something in Kannada that meant “it's gone’’ – at least that’s what I could make out. The rest of the men pushed our car to a corner of the road and again spoke something to the men in our car. My mom was very excited and I was thinking how she could trust just anyone. I think my head was clouded with thoughts and I couldn’t hear anything. The next thing I realized was my dad telling me that those men offered us a lift up to a point and me quickly grabbing 2 bags with me and running towards the bus. I only had one second to turn back to Arun who nodded, asking me to get into that bus and that he would meet me soon. We got into the bus and I now came to know why mom was excited. It was indeed a bus full of Ayappa devotees. They were on their way back from a trip to Sabharimalai! That was a very pleasant surprise and I started crying – don’t know why. We then realized the folly of just leaving my husband behind without even discussing further plans. I was still confident that they would somehow lug the car and come behind the bus now that the load had reduced. It was then that my mum dropped the bombshell “didn’t you know that we’ve had a breakdown? The clutch is broken and the car will not move”. Goodness gracious me! I just didn’t know that. Totally unaware of the distances and routes, I thought we would go to Khushalnagar, a few kilometres from Madikkeri, my dad will find a mechanic and go back to the spot where the car was stranded. How stupid of me. There was absolutely no network on our cell phones and we just couldn’t get in touch with Arun or the driver. My tears increased – to make the situation more filmy, sentimental Ayappa songs were blaring in the bus – a lady angrily challenging to God to prove His existence and another man lamenting over the loss of his worldly processions only to be directed towards the Lord’s doors and so on. Mom was assuring that if God has put us in the hands of these kind men, He would definitely guide my husband too. Luckily, my dad and Arun, both users of the good old BSNL were able to finally connect to each other and decided on a place to meet each other in the town of Sankleshpur. Arun and our driver had got a lift up to that town. They had decided to leave our car alone in the jungle that night. I felt bad for our loyal car. People were saying that the jungle is a marked forest area and had animals coming out at night, particularly elephants! We then reached some town and one of the men on our bus dropped us off at a bus station and before we realized anything, put us on a bus that was almost about to leave and quickly told us this bus would not actually go to Sankleshpur but to another town – we will have to get another bus from there to Sankleshpur. Phew! What had we got ourselves into?

We had no choice but to board the ‘town bus’. We thanked the Ayappa bus guy and started our journey # 3 of the day. We enquired with the conductor of the town bus and he said he was not very sure about the distance to Sankleshpur but we had to get off at a village called Holenarsapur which is around 2.5 hrs from where we were! It was already 8:15 in the night. The Ayappa bus had actually crossed the shortcut to Sankleshpur from the jungle. Gosh! What a mess! My dad got talking to an elderly person and related the story to him. My mom again smiled her optimistic smile (I will write about her inspiring optimism and belief in miracles another time). She said, "Hey look at his clothes, looks like he is from Ramakrishna Mission" and I went...gosh mom, how would you know? In a while, dad tells us “this gentleman says we will reach Holenarsapur at very odd hours and since we have a baby with us, he suggested that we get off in the next stop along with him and spend the night at his Ashram and leave to Sankleshpur in the morning”. Thankfully Mom declined the offer and so did I. This bus was actually going towards Bangalore and for a second we toyed with the idea of directly proceeding to Bangalore because of our baby but then decided to hang on with Arun - whatever happens – we will all stick together. One good decision in the whole day! (We were already regretting the way we split earlier). By then luckily the cell phone networks started getting better. We learnt that Arun was luckily with some very kind people who were giving the correct guidance. They suggested that we all spend the night in Hassan town as it is a bigger and safer place to stay. This meant, we had to get off at Holenarsapur and get a bus to Hassan. It would be 11 pm by then. What would we do? Arun started connecting with us every 10 minutes. He was really concerned for us – from his point of view, he was safer and more comfortable than us. Lessons # 3 – Never drive down very long distances, especially when you are not comfortable with the topography and more so if you have small babies and older people with you. Lesson # 4 Never take the road to anywhere in Karnataka even if you know the area like the back of your hand, unless you want to hurt your spine – for there are no roads there (except Bangalore perhaps), just piles of stones and mud everywhere.

Our bumpy bus journey continued. The bus started getting more and more crowded with uncouth villagers, drunken men almost getting into a brawl....roads without lights and more forests (maybe they wouldn’t appear like forests in daylight). Note to self: I will never get anywhere near a forest for the next 2 yrs at least. Parents bought some bananas on the way. We had them. My baby just had a few pieces of cake that I had with me and slept. She was truly an angel –as if she understood the tense moments we were going through, she was totally quiet and didn’t kick up any fuss. In the earlier bus, she was talking about fear for a while, which seemed to disappear once she was in the warm arms of her Grandmom. Thank you darling, for being such an angel. In between, there was a lady throwing up all over the bus, a drunk was being literally kicked out from the bus for bad behaviour – wonder where he went because at least 5 km on either side, there was no trace of life or light.

Finally Arun, who had already reached Hassan and booked a hotel for the night, insisted that he pick us up at Holenarsapur. I felt much better. The bus trundled into the town and we got off. We didn’t see anyone on the road, no buses, no shops, no nothing – just a white cab that came speeding by – that was Arun and our driver in a cab. I was so glad to see Arun but was totally tongue-tied for at least half an hour. I learnt that the people who gave a lift to Arun and our driver were truly nice people. Though they were to drop them off at Sankleshpur, listening to our predicament, it was they who suggested that Hassan was a better place. They found a good hotel there, checked if rooms were available, insisted that Arun pick us up at Holenarsapur, fixed up a cab to that town and only then had left the place. They were even willing to give the address of their sister’s place where we could get some milk for our baby! Strangely the bus we got into had only 3 seats and the car which Arun got into had place only for 2! We then started discussing what we could do about the car that we left in the jungle, how to retrieve the luggage in the car, how to get our parents back into Bangalore by the next evening in time for their train. Arun suggested we all just get a good night’s sleep and talk over it in the morning. It was midnight by the time we reached Hassan. None of us had any dinner, it was too late, and the hotel staff offered us hot Bournvita. We had a lot of snacks in our bags but we were in no mood to eat – not even my baby who went off to sleep without even drinking her Bournvita. All of us slept in the same clothes that we had on since morning.

I couldn’t sleep. I was picturing two elephants pushing down our Toyota down the valley. Apart from clothes, books and other stuff, the luggage in the car included my laptop, handycam and mom’s jewellery (poor thing has just now started buying new ones after she lost every bit of jewellery in a burglary at Hyderabad). And mainly our house keys were in there and we had no duplicate!

Day 3: Morning. It was decided that Dad, Arun and our driver would take a cab and go to the spot where they had left the car. Arun spoke to the Toyota Company the previous day itself and told them the story. They offered to come and take a look at the car. And so they set out after breakfast. Mom and I left behind in the Hotel with the baby tried our best to distract ourselves. We went and bought some change of clothes. Bathed, ate and sat worried and wondering. Again, they were near the jungle and the men could not be contacted. Finally the call came at around 1 pm. They found the car and it was all intact – just the way they had left it – no one had even touched it – neither elephants nor highway robbers!

After sending our darling car to Mangalore along with our driver, dad and Arun brought our luggage to Hassan. We proceeded to Bangalore immediately and reached late at night. Man, what a relief to come into a ‘home’. My parents left to Hyderabad the next evening. And we left to Chennai on day 5 after our car came back serviced and all fine. We were told by the mechanics at Toyota that even the brakes had broken. Thank Heavens! Just like what I had already heard myself telling, I called my maid and the office – the only difference, I was extending the trip by 2 more days! As soon as the car came back from the service station at Mangalore, we ran the car over 4 lemons placed under each tire – call it whatever you please – drishti or aura cleansing – we all needed some good aura cleansing actually! Our poor driver drove down all alone from Mangalore to Bangalore with the serviced car, somehow blaming himself for all that happened apart from worrying about his pregnant wife back home.

Man, what a trip it has been! People wished us memorable vacation but ours was unforgettable. Apart from the stress that we all went through, we ended up spending a whole lot of money. What is more important is that all of us, including our car, are safe and sound and I am able to share this with all of you! I came across many angels as part of this adventure – the Ayappa group, the people who gave Arun the lift, the Toyota people who carefully towed the car up to Mangalore and fixed our car for us, our driver who was his quiet and patient self throughout and my parents, who were a real blessing by being there at the right time, they had to suffer the ordeal along with us but gave us their support in so many ways – they helped us keep our morale in order, helped us communicate in Kannada and much more. We all have angels around us all the time. We just need to recognize them and thank them.

Miss my radio

Do you know the feeling when something in your head suddenly tells you to switch on some music? I heard that voice and went to my CD collection (not that I have huge one). Most of the CDs looked old and boring. Some of them were scratched, thanks to the naughty little brat at home. I finally found "Hits of Gulzar" and realized the player isn't working well :( Very frustrating situation right?

I also have not been listening to any good music recently. All I get to listen to is "Kaadhal

Anukkal"on repeat mode or some other Endhiran song. That's what my darling daughter is hooked on to of late (thank god for that...last year it was "Love me love me"from that Salman Khan movie - Wanted! eesh imagine having to bear that on repeat mode")

Or I listen to something on the Internet while working. Some random collections from somewhere. Point is I don't have the time to search, download and listen.Or even search for online players. Being a work from home mom, I need to complete work ASAP to get back to other chores.

I don't enjoy listening to FM Radio anymore. The same old (new) Tamil songs - which can numb your brain sometimes! God spare me from those screeching "RJs" with a sense of humour that is worse than their terrible accents. Chennai Live is good coz it plays English music, which no other channel plays. Aha FM I think is the only channel that plays Hindi songs, that too just f0r an hour in the evenings and that is 'Prime time' at home - finishing work, getting dinner ready, trying to entertain the tired and bored toddler.... sigh...lets talk about that another day! Now don't take me for a snob who only claims to like English and Hindi music. I am very much a Madras ponnu and appreciate anyone from Ilayaraja to AR Rahman to even Imman and Dharan - if the music is good. I would love to have a channel where they play a random selection of English, Hindi and Tamil Music.

The first time I heard commercial FM radio was in Bangalore, way back in 2000-2001. It was so much fun and I got so excited. I remember Radio City would play all kinds of music in the same slot. I remember Radio City played good English music in the mornings when they launched in Chennai, with Craig playing the RJ. Then they thought of this stupid survey and scrapped the morning slot and eventually the late night slot of English music. Oh damn the commercialism! I guess even in Bangalore Radio City now plays a lot of Kannada and some Hindi music! Well, well...

I miss my Vividh Bharati days! I was so hooked to the Radio. I knew the exact timings of each programme. The montage music of Ungal Viruppam meant it was time to leave home just in time to catch the 8:20 A10. Holidays were fun. 1:30 would be Aapki Farmaayish. Lok Sangeeth at 3 was study time or nap time. And then Ungal Viruppam again, 7:00 pm - songs requested by the 'Fauji Bhais", perhaps a play at 8:30 - Hava Mahal and sadly all of the lovely Hindi songs would end at 11 pm with Chaya geet. I would then move over to Madras A station, where they would play lovely Ilayaraja songs - mostly Mike Mohan's senti stuff - I remember my mum, my sis and myself going off to sleep listening to them. Someone would wake up and switch off the radio when they heard the Beeeeeep indicating the close of the station. Can you believe it? Programmes would actually end at a point and the stations would be closed - which is an unimaginable thing during these days of 24 hr radio, 24 hr TV, 24 hr coffee shops and 24 hr what not? (don't people sleep?)

An energetic day would start with a peaceful Vande Mataram followed by sleepy but comforting renderings of Tamil, English, Hindi and Sanskrit news - always in that order if I remember. Yes, there were the Telugu and Urdu news services too! Then there was a programme based on Raagas and their use in Film music, then 15 mins of devotional music.

And oh! there was the Madras B station too - for all the budding 'Western music' fans. We didn't mind the same old songs being repeated every thursday and saturday on Listener's choice - there was Jim Reeves, John Denver sharing space with the up and coming Wham, Michael Jackson and Madonna. "They also played lovely symphonies and pieces in the western classical music programmes. Our innocent eyes sparkled with excitement and wonder at such lovely music being made in some other part of the world.

We even listened to Ceylon Radio on the short wave band. Ah the crackle of the radio, when we have almost reached the exact point when there is the sharpest clarity! How exciting that would be! I even remember liking this Arabic Radio station (so we thought) that played such exotic sounding stuff.

Agenda for the week: Get music player fixed - particularly the radio!