I wonder

Ever thought why people say "I DON'T KNOW" when they actually want to say "SORRY. I DON'T AGREE"?

To be(long) or not to be(long)

Courtesy: Google images

A sense of trepidation. Heart beating slightly faster than usual. Questions buzzing in the mind. "Am I over-reacting?" "Am I doing the right thing?" "Will people think I am a snob?" "What difference is it going to make if only I do it?"

But then I always wanted to do it and I did it. No matter what. It might not be a big thing for others but it was a big move for me.

I STAYED AWAY FROM FIRE CRACKERS THIS DIWALI!

I have always been against the concept of fire crackers for the simple reason that they are a huge waste of money. That feeling started get stronger as I started seeing people buy crackers for 1000s of Rupees...5000-10000. At one stage of life I would think "Aha! Imagine the amount of ______ I can buy for this kind of money!" Fill the blank with clothes, music and books depending on whatever phase of life I was in :)
I then moved on to a phase where I started thinking 10000 Rupees is annual income for so many Indians..is it okay to just burn it all up?

The other reason I hated crackers was for all the noise they make. Shake up babies, old people and the
weak-hearted ones like me, break window panes and even shake the room, even if it was for a
nano-second. As such there is so much bombing going on all over the world. Do we really need this too? The more innocent sparklers, flower-pots and the zameen-chakkars are still better.

Then came the case of using child-labour. They say it's all banned now and they just don't use child labour anymore but we don't know for sure.

And now my biggest concern is pollution. Noise pollution and pollution of the atmosphere. Why do we have to add to the existing burden on Earth?

Okay all this might sound fair enough to read and talk about. But let me tell you by my experience. Actually putting this into practice is one hell of a tough one. First you have to deal with yourself. Have the utmost conviction. You will be faced with a lot of questions from within and others as well. Worst is this. "Oh you aren't bursting fire-crackers? Oh my God! But what about the baby? How can you deny her the pleasure?" I then have to explain myself. "The crackers are there. The kiddo is enjoying with the father. Its just me who's decided to stay away." "C'mon, what difference is it going to make? Don't deny yourself. Just go ahead and enjoy yourself." And I was like, "Hmm..oh...you know..still..." After the difficult conversation ended, I got thinking "Could they be right?" But then I stuck to my guns (pun unintended) and said NO. (I know you people are sensing a lot of confusion. Yes, I'm not hiding it. It was there - briefly though.)

Diwali evening: I suddenly found myself alone at home for a good 30 minutes. Initially,  I suddenly felt alone. Hubby and baby didn't force/beg me to join them.
I then switched off the TV, switched off all lights, lit up small earthen diyas, played some nice devotional music online. It was beautiful, surreal. I got ready to spend some good time with myself. And before I could even  start, the father and the daughter come barging into the house, making a lot of noise, turn on the TV to find a fav. movie playing and that's it!! :) I suddenly became this TV mummy grinning affectionately and rolling her eyes at the same time!

Anyway, my present state of mind is this. Successfully stayed away - thanks to my supportive family. But now what? Do I tell them to stop bursting fire crackers too? No way! My opinion is just mine. The other adults have theirs. The kid will form hers. I am not an activist. I cannot spread messages. I can explain myself if required. I can only follow what I strongly believe in. That's about it.

Art for Art's sake?

A little chat about the music director Ismail Darbar triggered off these thoughts.

I really liked the music in Hum Dil de Chuke Sanam, Devdas and even Guzaarish. I used to think Ismail Darbar was very knowledgeable and up-there when it came to classical music. But after the Grammy glory, I was saddened to see him bad-mouthing A R Rahman. He said things like all Rahman does is copy. I somehow lost my respect for Ismail Darbar. It doesn't become of a musician of all people to talk so. I look at all artisites - writers, actors, musicians...as a special creed because I feel they are truly blessed.

Agreed. Most artists have a built in quirkiness to their personality. Its the quirkiness that kind of brings out the art without any inhibitions. And I respect that quirkiness. Take for instance K Balachander, Kamala Hassan, M F Hussain, Kishore Kumar, Charlie Chaplin, Dali....the list is endless.

Then there is the ego too. A little bit of too I can excuse because again, this is a special lot of people. They didn't conform and so they are here, doing what they want to do. Else, they would be clerks in a bank or ticket inspectors on trains.

What I can't definitely agree is acts of abuse...verbal or physical. Haven't we heard of the real big stars bashing up people just because that 'saab' is in a bad mood? Or even the superstition about a famous director's slap can bring aspiring actors great fortunes!!

Having said that, I think aloud. As fans/listeners what should our stance be? Do we just pick up the good part and say 'oh what a great artist he is'? Does that give artistes the license to have multiple affairs and care a damn for the woman at home?
Or do we take the entire personality into account? I'm yet to decide if an artist's behaviour should/can affect our attitude towards his/her work. I can't make up my mind.
Wonder what most people do?

Talk to me Mama!

I rarely touch the computer on weekdays when I get back home from work. Its only during the weekends that I log-on to check my mails and FB.

One such Saturday afternoon, when I was lying on the bed and checking FB, my daughter came up to me and said, 'Mama you are always using the laptop. You never talk to me.' I was kind of shaken. I knew she was exaggerating but I knew she had a point, at least that very moment.

I immediately closed my laptop and pulled her really close to me. We would have spoken for exactly one minute and she drifted off to sleep!! 

Re-discovered gems!

Thanks to my newly acquired interest/need for morning walks, I am once again, after a long, long time, getting to listen to songs that I choose - not the random stuff dished out by the FM channels. And I'm loving every bit of it.

While downloading songs on to my MP3 player (which again has been given a new life), my list of must-haves included Rehna Tu and Dil Gira Kahin (both from Delhi-6, of course on A R Rahman's music). Yes, agreed both of these are not 'work-out'music but they take me to another world altogether. I'm so glad I re-discovered these gems now!!

Rehna Tu: Like someone mentioned somewhere, you listen to the song and you feel Rahman just hummed the song when he was given the lyrics and it was recorded. Such is the casual tone of the song. I'm always in a fix when I listen to this song. Do I listen to the words, Rahman's magical, yet friendly voice or the lovely musical arrangement?
And such charming lyrics sung sweetly 'Haath thaam chalna ho, to dono ke haath daayen kaise? Ek daaya hoga, ek bayaa hoga. Thaamley haath, chalna hai sang, thaamley.'
While I'm enjoying the song, I'm almost waiting for it to end, so that I get treated to this extremely unusual and exotic sounding tailpiece. Yes, it does take you  bit into the line, 'kangalai konduthan rusiyarium' in the song Kaadhal Anukkal (Enthiran), and maybe even the good old Vaishnava Janato for some reason. Don't know what raagam it is, but it's just so beautiful. And the instrument used, I think is called a Continuum Fingerboard. Check it out on Wikipedia. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Continuum_(instrument)
All I have to say is Rahman, Rehna tu hai jaise tu, don't ever change!! Coming to think of it, the lyrics of the song actually applies to him and his music!

Dil Gira Kahin - A beautiful collage!
Wow! What an opening to a grand song!
I cannot fit this song into any particular style - its just a beautiful amalgamation of creative lyrics, enchanting vocals and interesting bits of instrumentation. There are Celtic sounds, Chinese sounds and Indian sounds woven so seamlessly, like a lovingly made patchwork quilt. And then, there is Chinmayee's voice teasing you with a game of peek-a-boo. Rahman is at it again - the art of using backing vocals sometimes like a musical instrument and sometimes to add surprising twist to a song.
The best part of the song is perhaps the lyrics by Prasoon Joshi, with some very fresh ideas.
Jane Magar Yeh Naiyan, 
Teri Kahmosh Zulfon Ki Gehraiyaan
Hai Jahan Dil Meraa Uljha  Hua Hai.

Naiyan - haven't heard this beautiful word in a Hindi song in a long time (haven't paid attention to the lyrics in Hindi songs in a long time - didn't find anything worth the effort!)
Khamosh Zulfon Ki Gehraiyaan - what a lovely expression it is. Who can think of this?

There are also lines like these that make you feel that person who has written the song, is just not a film-song lyricist but a real poet.
Sipiyon Ki Hoonth Se Moti Chalak Rahein Hai and
Samundar Lehron Ki Lehron Ki Chadar Odh Ke So Raha Hai
Per Mein Jagu Ek Khumari Ek Nasha Sa Ek Nasha Sa Horaha Hai.

If you happen to listen to this song, pay attention to the way the singer (Ash King) says "Khumari"- I love it.

Harris Jayaraj

When I read http://soundcloud.com/parodesynoise/harris-jayaraj-for-dummies and laughed my gut out, I remembered a joke my DH and I used to share.

You can actually compose a Harris Jayaraj song if you are a sincere Church-goer!! Let me explain.

Take for instance the song, "Paartha Mudhal Naaley" (Vettaiyaadu Vilayaadu")
and sing "Yesu pirnadhaarey, indru Yesu pirandhaarey". Doesn't it fit? Sing it in a nice baritone voice - it'll sound even better!

Or take the song, "Ennai Pandhaada Piranthavaley" (Ullam Ketkumey)
and sing something like Nammai rakshikka piranthavarey...Works?

Disclaimer: I mean absolutely no offence to any religion or its music. No offense meant to Harris Jayaraj himself, many of whose songs I really love (esp. the romantic ones) and I have his full collection on MP3. (I particularly love listening to this CD because its like listening to a nice song that  goes on for one and a half hours!! :P)

Unsolicited advice

Courtesy: wikipedia.org

I normally don’t believe in unsolicited advice.
Last evening I did something that I don’t think I would ever have done. I still can’t believe it myself.


I was on my way back home from work. A lady on a Scooty zipped past me. She had a little girl with her, standing in front. When I caught up, I noticed that they had stopped at an ATM a few buildings away. The little girl was standing alone on the bike and the lady (perhaps her mother) had gone into the ATM. I almost went past the ATM but I just couldn’t get myself to ignore this little girl, all of 5-6 years standing alone on the road. I looked for the ATM watchman – couldn’t find him.


So, I took the decision. I went back to the ATM. Stood there – not too close to the girl – I didn’t want to scare her (she as such looked uncomfortable with me hovering around). I just kept standing there till the mother came out. Now, this was difficult. As soon as she came out, I asked her in English, “Can I please talk to you for a minute.” Wrong move. She mistook me for a salesperson and hurried away muttering that she is in a hurry. I then switched over to Tamil and said, “I’m sorry I’m not a salesperson. I’m a mother of a small baby girl too. I was passing by and saw your baby standing alone on the road and decided to keep a watch on her. I could have ignored and passed by but I was too scared for her. Anything can happen in 5 minutes.  I just request you to please never, ever leave your baby like that on the road alone. Sorry again and thanks.”


Looks like the lady was too shocked and totally unprepared for this kind of unsolicited advice but lady, I did what my heart told me to! They say times have gone bad. Fine, agreed but at least, we should take our precautions for the safety of our children. Every day we hear horror stories of kidnapping and what not. What’s the point in blaming the degrading values of our society if we are not careful ourselves?


I then started walking back home, mulling over what I did. Another lady was talking to a patrol policeman at the corner of my street. This is what I could make out from their conversation. “Yes Sir, they snatched her chain and ran away...there near the temple... the poor lady is still there…” I then heard the lady giving the policeman the location and he was getting ready to go there on his bike.